Heal My Blackness

6/7/20

I was walking through my home the other day, and a question came to my mind. I'd never had it or heard it before or seen another person speak of it. What I heard was, "Have I ever asked God to heal my blackness?" I was shocked to hear this and not sure of how to process it. I pondered this for a few days to try and understand what this meant. I came to realize this wasn’t from a place of shame for my blackness. It also wasn’t based on hate for my blackness. I came to understand this healing is based on the pain and trauma that comes from being black.

There is much that I've dealt with that I rarely share or express, but I can see now how painful, hurtful, and traumatizing it has been in my life. In order for me to receive the healing, I must first acknowledge the pain. I can see how somethings I just brushed aside because I got used to it. But being used to it doesn't mean it didn't hurt and that I don't need healing. Sadly, there is a level of abuse that comes with my skin tone. I haven't experienced it physically, but I've dealt with the emotional, psychological, and mental abuse. It's not till now that I see the actions of others were a form of abuse.

The healing would be for the rejection, hurt, disappointment, betrayal, trauma, criticism, judgment, negative words, and pain that's come as a result of my complexion.  There are layers and levels of healing, and this is one I was unaware that I needed. But I’m thankful for the insight because obtaining this healing and understanding will increase my clarity and flow of purity and grace.

Jesus was also despised and rejected, so the emotions and pain I carry are not uncommon to Him. I share this to remind us healing is not only needed between us; it’s also needed within us. I’ll never know why my complexion can be so offensive to others, but I know their responses don’t have to impact me the way they have or damage me the way they did. Healing is my portion and yours as well.

#MaShaniAllen #HealMyBlackness #Healing #Point2Ponder